11 excuses for bunking that boring date!!

Karina once said that if there was a tournament for making up the most useless excuses, i would definitely be a strong contender for the top prize. This got me thinking and i realized that i can give an excuse for any situation in life. While pondering on how to harness this talent for the benefit of mankind ( when i say mankind, i mean MEN..yeah yeah call me a sexist, i really dont care because i am one..), a thought crossed my mind. It was a simple thought, a thought that made me think more. Have you ever stood up your girlfriend and when she asks you why you were not present at the party or movie, you just said 'i forgot'? Have you ever wanted to stay at home on a Saturday night to watch your favorite football club on television instead of seeing Phantom of Opera ( vile crappy movie) or a visit to some renaissances art museum. Imagine the insults, the screaming, the nagging that you are going to face for such an act. So my dear fellows, be prepared for what is about to ensue, it will change your lives, it will create a whole new person out of you ( who am i shitting, nothing of that sort will happen but it might be useful to you sometime). I present 11 innovative excuses to dish out to your girl for being absent on a date.

Excuse # 1

You 'accidentally' locked yourself in the bathroom and the knob decided to take the evening off the moment you went in.

( She might not buy it, but you could say parameters such as the cold weather outside combined with the hot steam from the bath caused the knob to get jammed. A very useful one for guys living in cold countries.)

Excuse #2

When she said 7 pm , you thought it was 7 pm London time.

( A very good excuse for traders and brokers in NYC )

Excuse #3

All of your clothes are in the washing machine and the machine stopped working and hence you have nothing to wear except your old boxers.

( This is could be a match winning excuse for guys with great bodies as the girl might just be tempted to shift the date from a movie hall/museum to your bedroom.)

Excuse #4

I was on the way to the movie hall when a huge UFO sucked me up into its main chamber. I was held captive for the night and released next morning.

( Could come in handy, when you want to go drinking with your buddies. You blame the UFO and the bright lights for that headache you have i.e., hangover!!)

Excuse #5

Blame it on your flatmate. Tell her that he was threatening to commit suicide as he was just sodomized by a bunch of you-know-who.

( She definitely cannot ask your flatmate for details and will give you the benefit of doubt. Even she knows that roomies get precedence over partners.)

Excuse #6

Send your best friend to the movie and ask him to convince her that he was you but with a new face. The miracle of plastic surgery are known through out the world.

( If you buddy is hotter than you then she might get convinced and treat him to a really nice night cap at her place. I suppose if you are ready to use this excuse then you really dont care who she treats to night cap's at her place.)

Excuse #7

Tell her that you popped in a sleeping pill instead of an asprin and hence you slept off for some 3 hours.

( A good excuse to watch the football game. If she buys it you could end up getting a home cooked dinner from her and maybe some tooty-fruity action later on.)

Excuse #8

You were at the museum but she could not see you because of the invisible cloak.

( The guy who uses this one, please carry a camera along with and capture her expression on film.)

Excuse #9

You work for the CIA and its against the organization's policies to visit boring museum's or watching horrible movies.

( Nice try!!)

Excuse #10

It was raining hail stones in your part of the city and you could not leave the apartment.

And for the final and the greatest excuse

Excuse #11

Your astrologer warned you about a possible fight that both of you might have if you go out with her on that particular evening. Since you love her so much you would rather sacrifice THE date ( yes an outing to a museum was one of you adolescent fantasies) instead of getting into a fight with her.

Disclaimer: I claim no responsibility for the outcomes of using the above written statements

I am too lazy to proof read it and rectify the spellings and grammar so kindly ADJUST!!

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http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8281848358508839146&q=soccer+funny